At first - again the text which ignites us to think today:
"Remember, friendships do not happen in a vacuum. There is a certain chemistry with friends just as in a love relationship (A.U.: which I think about as friendship also). Therefore, contact with other people is the first building block of your friendship.
The transition from stranger to acquaintance to friend begins with attention - one of you attracts the other, or it's a mutual attraction. This happens when you share an experience. And you can not share an experience until you get out in the world with people. People equal a few friends and friends equal a tiny amount of people.
Some people have more trouble getting out there than others.
Who does have trouble getting out in the world to make friends? Shy people or people who are true loners often seek safety by staying away from people. If they don't even work with many people, they will have a hard time sharing experiences with someone who is attractive to them and vice-versa.
Elderly people or people who do not drive also have trouble getting out in most of the American world (A.U.:the World is not just America You know...). Other people are isolated by physical disabilities, by geography, by abusive relationships, etc.
New mothers are often too tired or just too busy to keep up an active and satisfying social life. Yet studies have shown new mothers are happier and more assured when they are able to meet with adults regularly, particularly other mothers.
Once you have captured the attention of another person or vice-versa, you must expand on that original attraction. This expansion includes additional contacts and conversation."
Mmm... I'm quite satisfied with the explanation, but... It is not fully true anymore! Why? Because we live - I'll bet You got it :) - yes - in time of "internet era". This means, that people don't need (at least at start) to have physical - eye-to-eye - contact to become acquaintant with another person, and believe or not, but it is even recommended to start with virtual or written form of relationship.
Why can it be so? Isn't it true that many persons don't even describe truly who they are - no true age, external traits and even sex?! Yes, yes, yes. But... Even if majority of people are lying about themself, then I tell You one thing - It is rare to have ONE true friend - You are lucky if You have. And it is very rare to have even more. So how to You think You will find the right person amongst myriade of persons and amongst many friendly persons and amongst few friends? It is Your experience, Your emotions and thoughts, what can tell You...
And believe me - I'm talking from selfexperience - it is much more openminded and much more true to have at least time to time written conversations with your best, true friends and even with friends You'll like to have as true friend. If this openness is only from Your side - believe me You can detect it from his/her letters - then it tells You also something - that that person is not (at least now) intended to become your good friend (or is too shy for this), and so You have different choices - to work and think more about-toward the person, or on other way - to forget about him/her... Both ways can hurt... But friendship always hurts. And ofcourse also gives You much more positive emotions :)
What magic about the writing? Because... because sometimes it is very exciting not only write, but also read about your and her/his emotions and thoughts and experiences. So - the first lesson is - don't hesitate to write to your very close friend! At least You can try this also - with some caution - toward casual friend who becomes, in Your thoughts, more than just casual...
So - this were my 2 cents for You today.
Have nice Autumn, and also rayni days if You like - I like :)
